One Or The Other, Generally

I went out for drinks last night with some former coworkers, which was really great. But one of the things that kept coming up was relationships. I think it was because we’re all single and confused as all get out about what the hell one does exactly to not be single and then to feel happy in relationships. Or something.

Anyway, one of the things that came up (I forget how or why) was the idea that people who don’t think as much are, in general, happier people. I’m fairly sure it was me who said this and, if you’re a regular reader, this kind of broad stroke cynicism coming from me is probably unsurprising to say the least. And when I say “don’t think” what I mean mostly is “don’t self-analyze” as much.

But I think that this idea is interesting to consider. It reminded me in particular of this blog post I found from a friend’s tweet about the choice (disposition?) to be either a happier or more interesting person and furthermore that these two things are, for the most part, mutually exclusive. A lot of this kind of stuff is self-explanatory. For example, blind certainties such as religious faith make you happier because you don’t force yourself to confront undesired possibilities, but it’s the openness to those very possibilities that make a person dynamic.

This is a difficult possibility to confront, I feel. It’s one of those classic dilemmas that on the surface seems dull or obvious: you may not be happy, but that’s OK because you’re interesting. Or vice versa. But these kinds of things become problematic because they’re limiting in so many ways. And it probably accounts for some of the polarization and misunderstanding between people. The ones who overanalyze too much, such as myself, become the self-conscious, self-loathing emotional wrecks. We’re unfun at parties, the Eeyore of the group, quick to remind others what’s still wrong rather than what’s getting better. And the happy people become the cocksure, self-important jerks, the proselytizers and, more than likely, the people making us overthinkers feel like total garbage.

And the insidious thing is that both of these groups are equally socially repulsive.

And the answers? Well, I don’t have any. It’s just scary to consider the possibility that I’ll spend my entire life unhappy because of silly reasons like that I would prefer some measure of proof before I actively believe that a so-called “God” is out there and quote loves me unconditionally. And perhaps this is part of what I was getting at with my whole steamrolling spiel: it’s annoying (to say the least) that it’s these happy people that will continue, at least in part, to make me miserable while moving along on their smug, happy, non-questioning little way in a life devoid of consequences or basic human empathy.

I guess what I’m really trying to say is: Bitter, party of one?